2020 has been a challenging year for everyone, especially those prone to anxiety and depression. The social isolation and uncertainty about employment, income, health, and the health of Covid vulnerable people you love has posed a unique challenge for us all. It is entirely understandable for you to be apprehensive about the upcoming holidays.

Instead of discussing the usual mental health messages to self-care and calibrating expectations, I suggest a different approach. It is essential to accept that things will be challenging and that there will be casualties. This is a battle between the Holidays we know and the Pandemic version. Learn from successful survivors of painful, dangerous, and challenging events like the Navy Seals. You need to be able to face difficult situations, knowing it will be hard. The measure of your success is your ability to keep your mental and physical health intact.

Many traits can be emulated in research on people who can survive and thrive even under extreme pressure and duress. These skills are available to anyone, even you. These are the traits of resilient people who can thrive in difficult situations:

1. The current Pandemic is a challenge you should consider an opportunity. Instead of enduring repeated traumas and disappointments, treat it as an everyday part of your daily life. People who can recover from stressful situations see stress as a challenge that can be overcome and an opportunity to gain something. They see it as their responsibility to manage difficult situations rather than believing there is a better way.

• Instead of seeing 2020 as the year Covid destroyed, you could see it as the year when you learned how vital face-to-face contact was to you, the year where you had more time with your friends, the year that you were able to get to know people better, and the year that you focused on the most critical aspects of the holiday, rather than all the glitter, or the year that you took a step back.

2. Stress is something that happens every day. It is not desirable. Plants not subject to the stresses of wind and air will fall over and never stand upright. People who are not challenged feel weak in their spirit and body. Being alive and human is all about stress. Inadvertently, many people believe that stress should be avoided. Scientists know that stress needs to be adapted, regardless of whether it is positive or negative. Stress is all around us. Studies on people's attitudes towards stress have shown that people who believe stress can be a source of personal growth are more likely to succeed mentally and physically. It is the opposite. Intentionally believing that stress is wrong or something to avoid can lead to a decrease in both your mental and physical health.

• You might tell yourself that the 2020 Holidays is a time for clarity and reflection on the holiday season. It's also a time to recognize the importance of community, worship, charity, family, and community. These only require small gatherings, holiday parties, or a lot of gifts. To express holiday spirit pandemic-style, you will have to be creative.

3. You can set a goal to live your life with moral integrity. It will take effort. Research on resilience shows that people who can measure success by living up to their moral values and being good can maintain their self-worth under challenging times. People focused on getting recognition and approval for their efforts will feel fragile and disappointed as they can't keep creating external success. Your success is what determines your self-esteem. It is weak and shallow because you can only sometimes generate subsequent great success. If you want to feel happy, you must be positive and compassionate. This means you must choose the type of person you want to be over the holidays and then work towards it.

• If you want to be less harmful and less complaining, make a pact to your friends and yourself to reduce the negativity, not grumble, and look for the positive and the encouraging every day. Read funny holiday movies, subscribe to positive news, and read the good news. Be a person of moral integrity and not someone everyone appreciates. If you are employed, start helping your coworkers more. Volunteering to help others is a great way to enjoy making a difference and being a better person.

4. Instead of dwelling on what went well or why, analyze the outcome of each day and focus on what was positive. This will help you achieve your goals, improve your character, and make coping easier. Anxiety and depression can make it easy to focus on negative aspects and your failures. This is mental poison. This strategy is used by the military, elite athletes, and top-performing businesses to debrief a situation. It increases the chances of solving the problem, winning the battle, or winning the race. Keep a journal of what is going well and what you did or didn't do that led to your success.

• Take some time to reflect on what you did in the past year that helped you have fun and enjoy life. Look at what you did and thought. Consider how you dealt with the challenges or disappointments that you faced. What made your life worthwhile? What makes you feel joy? Joy is when you feel fulfilled and happy. Consider how you can apply the knowledge you have gained to your holiday planning.

5. Service to others is the focus. Research has shown that compassion and giving back to others can substantially positively affect your mental and physical health. Your help is needed for the sake of many animals and people around the globe who are in desperate need. They need your compassion and assistance because the Pandemic has made life worse for many people.

• Send messages of hope and compassion to all your neighbors, even those you don't know.
• Make small gifts for coworkers, neighbors, shut-ins, and older people to show appreciation. Bake bread or share the books you've enjoyed.
• Volunteers are needed to help with outreach, provide goods and run soup kitchens. You can help where others are unable if you feel at ease helping in disguise.
• Fasten for a meal once a week, and you can save money and donate to charities that feed the hungry.
• Look for people who are often overlooked or require your compassion and gratitude.